Adjusting to spinal cord injury is a difficult and continuous process. Individuals who are newly injured will likely experience grief. This is period of mourning that is similar to that following the death of a loved one. The difference is that you are grieving the loss of your sense of touch along with your ability to walk or use your hands. It is not uncommon for you to experience many different thoughts and feelings after injury. There is no step-by-step grieving process, but some thoughts and feelings are common after injury. They include:
Denial/Disbelief
You may first react to your injury as if nothing happened. This is normal response and initially may help you to cope with the magnitude of your injury.
Anger
Some people react to their injury with strong feelings of anger. You may feel resentful and angry with yourself and with others for not preventing the loss. If properly handled, anger can be helpful. If improperly handled, it can be destructive and hurtful to yourself or others. By recognizing and expressing anger in a positive way, it can motivate you to deal with problems and achieve goals. If you need assistance in effectively coping with anger, members of the rehabilitation team can assist you.
Sadness
Sadness is common after injury no matter what level your injury is. You have experienced a great personal loss. Sadness is that down, or blue feeling that you have when something bad happens.However, it is important that you do not confuse sadness with depression.
Depression
Depression is a medical condition that requires professional treatment. You may be depressed if you have symptoms such as extreme sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentrating, a significant increase or decrease in your appetite and /or time spent sleeping, and feelings of dejection, hopelessness or worthlessness. You may even have thoughts about suicide.
If you feel short term sadness or mild depression, you may be able to recover through self-help. If you should experience symptoms of more serious depression it is important to help yourself by reaching out for assistance from family, friends and trained professional. The longer serious depression lasts the harder it may be to recover. Trying to ignore it doesn’t help.
Acceptance
Grieving usually ends as you come to a realistic view of your current condition and find meaning in your life. You begin to think about your future as an individual with SCI and set goals to pursue in life.
People who adjust well to life after a spinal cord injury are usually motivated to set/meet personal goals. These goals can be short-term or long-term. These goals are different for everyone and often change throughout life.
It takes time to grieve your loss and come to accept the realities of your injury. It is important to believe you will regain a sense of control over your life. Remember, all of your feelings are legitimate. Being able to recognize them and deal with them in a positive way is extremely important to your overall adjustment and well-being. Help is available through counseling, public social services, support groups and peer assistance programs.